A blog that won't bring you down

I'm happy! I'm really and truly happy! George came into Carrollton this weekend and I feel whole again. It's funny how after a mere three years of marriage, I feel incomplete without him. I had someone to watch "Law and Order" with! We talked about everything. He updated me on life in Chattanooga and I told him about the ridiculous news stories I had been keeping up with and who was kicked off of "Dancing with the Stars" (like he cares...he acts like he does for my sake). I'm still homeless but I got a little break from my depression. I really, really, really want to get back to Chattanooga and catch up with my friends. I know Amy is going through some stuff and I want to talk to her in person. It's not the same over facebook, e-mail or telephone. I want to hear about Amalia's school drama and I want to go on a married woman date with Jenn. I can already hear Ruth singing the patience song to me as I type this. I'm sure I only have a few more weeks of isolation in Carrollton and when I get home, I want to see and hear from everyone!

Trying to stay positive

It's getting harder and harder for me to keep my head up. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of staying positive or at least appearing to have a positive attitude but once again, I am wearing my emotions on my sleeve. George called yesterday and said, "I talked to your dad today. He said you were being mopey. Stop being mopey." I thought I was doing so well! It's hard lately. It looks as though the house is not going to happen. I know that God is saving us from our first big mistake in life but this whole process drained me and now, we have no place to live. I'm feeling like a single parent. Isaac is starting to sit up a bit and is making large strides toward crawling. I think he may have gained a pound or two as well, not to mention he's started sleeping soundly through the night. Chrissy is stringing together her own sentences and has figured out how to use doorknobs and zippers. I'm proud of my two little boogers but I hate knowing George is missing out on all of it. I haven't been married that long but three weeks without my husband has been a tortuous eternity. I can't explain it but it feels completely unnatural to be without him. I'm also pretty isolated here. I don't have the means to get out (I can usually use the car one day a week) and even when I do get out of the house, it's to buy necessities for the children. I don't have friends to meet up with and I miss my friends back home terribly. I hope they know I miss them because I haven't had the chance to get on the computer and tell them as much. Other than my cell phone (which only receives calls from George and my mother), I'm completely disconnected from my world. I'd give anything to see my friends again and I'd probably cry if I could see George for at least a few hours. I'm in desperate need of encouragement and I feel myself doubting God and his plan for our life at the moment. I'm having a hard time taking solace in Him and I feel that I'm a very weak Christian. Oh, dear. Where is my sunshine?

Avoiding immenant disaster, quite literally

Since I've moved, there has been a continual down pour of rain which makes me think that God is lamenting my separation from my husband as much as I am. Everyday I wake up and hope that the rain and clouds have disappeared but to no avail and what's more, the rain has only seemed to have gotten worse. Carrollton isn't known for flooding and in the 20 years that my parents have lived here, we've experienced blizzards and an onslaught of tornadoes but never a flood...until last night. As soon as I decided I was tired enough to go to bed, the thunderstorms started. The rain was pelting down on the roof and attacking the windows while the thunder and lightning made the house shake. I've always been jittery during big storms so sleep did not happen last night which was terribly unfortunate because it was the first time in five months that Isaac had slept soundly through the night. I was really surprised that either child slept with the ruckus that was going on outside but both of them slept as though they had been given drugs before I laid them down for the evening. I feel a bit robbed. I've been waiting for this moment since Isaac was born and I didn't get the chance to savor it due to bad nerves. Curses. After trying to force myself to sleep for 8 hours straight, I finally gave up and got out of bed at 4:00 a.m. The house was still trembling from the loud rumbles of thunder and I thought I could hear Isaac whimpering over the baby monitor. After fixing him a bottle and some cereal (he's eating solids now, another wonderful milestone), I crept into the nursery to get him out of his crib. Low and behold, my little one was sleeping like a drunk, bottom in the air, head slightly stuck under the crib guard and his mouth wide open with his tongue stuck out? I was shocked. Wasn't that him I heard over the monitor? Confused I went back to my room to lay down in hopes of possibly falling asleep from exhaustion. Instead, I heard the whimpering again. I checked on Isaac again and found him in the exact same position. I was starting to feel a little crazy. Perhaps I was hearing the wind. I went back into my room and picked up the baby monitor. Maybe the volume was too low or it was on the wrong channel. As I lifted it to my ear, there was a loud burst of thunder and a blinding flash of lightning. The monitor in my hand popped and I dropped it on the floor. My fingers were singed. I'd never been electricuted before and I was irritated at myself for not having enough sense to leave electronics alone during a severe thunderstorm. Exasperated with the fact that I couldn't sleep and very awake after my little adventure, I decided to give up on sleep and be constructive with my time. I made my bed (who was I kidding? It obviously wasn't going to get used) and changed into some work out clothes. As I walked down the stairs to our work out area, I heard the whimpering again. It was our dog, Bea. The storm was scaring her too. I opened up the garage door to let her in the house but she wouldn't move from her spot. I had to walk over to her in order to coax her inside. During my short transit across the garage, I found that not only was Bea scared into a frozen state, she had lost her bowels as well. Fun, fun. This was not the most ideal way to start the day. After a good work out and some quiet time, my attitude adjusted and I started my day. Nothing much has happened to me since this morning but the news about the flooding of Carroll county has been tragic. Several people have been rescued but there have been fatalities as well. Granted, we haven't had a lot of deaths but the deaths that have occurred were children under the age of three. I ache when I think of the mother who clutched at her toddler with all of her might only to have her little one snatched from her grip by a furious river. I'm praying for all the parents during this time.

I use to do this all the time but then I fell off the face of the earth...

Once upon a time, I blogged regularly. That was until I realized that there wasn't anything going on in my life that was worth writing about. Recently, there have been circumstances in my life that prohibit me from communicating with people who mean a lot to me and hence, the "blog" has been started again. In case you the reader are not aware of my current life situation, I'm back at home in Carrollton, Georgia living with my parents. Why, you ask? It's all Obama's fault...or at least that's what I like to tell myself when I'm feeling flustered. Me and George are attempting to buy the cutest little house in all of Chattanooga. However, the house buying process has been a bit boogery to say the least. We were scheduled to close on the house on September 8th. Being naive, first time house buyers, we arranged our life as if the house was already ours, lining up tenants for our apartment and packing up all our earthly belongings in giant cardboard boxes. Due to the recession, the financing portion of the house buying process is much harder to swim through and the necessary financing that we needed to secure the house was not available at the time of closing. We were able to get an extension but we still had to move. We'd committed a rookie mistake but learned from the blunder and moved forward. We have until the end of September to finish up the house buying process but in the meantime, the me and the kids are living with my parents while George holds down the fort in a small apartment in St. Elmo and continues to "bring home the bacon". I suppose I could pack up the children and move into the apartment with my husband but we both agreed that moving the babies around too much would be hard on them so we're staying put until further notice. In the meantime, I'm feeling...lost. It's odd to be living with one's parents after a long stint of independence. I appreciate their help and although they give me a large amount of freedom, I feel limited. Even though no one has said anything to me, I feel like I need permission to use a vehicle or the computer which makes me feel like I'm a child again. I spend a lot of my time making sure the kids are quiet and out of the way. I don't want to be a burden to my family and I certainly don't want the kids distracting Daddy from work or exhausting mom when she gets home after a long day. In essence, I feel as though I'm walking on egg shells and perhaps wearing out my welcome. I also don't feel like I'm helping out enough. I've asked mom to leave me a list of chores she'd like completed but she insists that everything is "fine". I've asked dad if there is anything I could do to help out financially (such as pay a portion of the water, electricity and grocery bill) but he says things are "fine" as well. I'm paying for anything baby related (diapers, wipes, apple juice, etc...) but I just don't feel like that's enough to keep from burdening my parents. What's more, I miss my friends...especially my friends that I meet with on a regular weekly basis (Jenn, Buck, Abby and Amalia). I have few friends here in Carrollton and I feel isolated, as if Chrissy and Isaac are the only humans I have interaction with during the day. Of course, I see mom, dad and Austin everyday but not until late in the evening and they usually have plenty to do once they get home. I think the worst part of this is that I don't get to see George. We attempt to talk on the phone everyday but it feels so unnatural. We gab about the intricacies of our day and eventually say goodnight when we are too tired to talk anymore. We are still communicating in the same way but the intimacy of our marriage talk seems to be lost over the phone line. I'm hurting for a hug from him as well. I'd really like to go back home but I know that this is where I need to be for the moment. I think this might be the most I've allowed myself to whine about my situation since I moved in two weeks ago. Of course, I tell George how I'm feeling but I've not mentioned anything to my parents. I think it would seems ungrateful and childish. As it is, I'm attempting to make the most of my time here. I've joined the choir at my parents church and jumping head long into ministry there. If I surround myself with God and his work, I won't have time to mope and feel sorry for myself, right? I don't know if that's a theological mind frame but it has kept me from getting depressed. I'm learning more about trust and faith everyday and it gives me hope that I can weather what honestly is a small sprinkle storm and not a hurricane in my life.

So that's what's going on and it's all Obama's fault.